Though He Slay Me

 

 

This past week was not at all expected. My surgery was more difficult than we could have imagined. The spinal anesthesia didn't take, and as a result my muscles were tensed throughout the surgery, causing my surgeon to have to work really hard to pull my muscles apart to get to my hip...This led to more pain than I have ever experienced...and continue to experience. Unfortunately I was not completely out during the surgery, and the numbing the spinal would have provided was not available to me. 

 

We got the terrifying news yesterday that my surgical leg is now longer than the other due to excessive stretching, requiring yet another surgery this coming week. 

 

I don't know why all this is happening. 

Or why it has to be so hard. 

But I do know and believe to my core that our pain is not without a purpose. 

 

Job 13:15 says, "Though he slay me, yet I will trust him." 

 

John Piper says,

• "Not only is all your affliction momentary, not only is all your affliction light in comparison to eternity and the glory there. But all of it is TOTALLY meaningful. Every millisecond of your pain, from the fallen nature or fallen man, every millisecond of your misery in the path of obedience is producing a peculiar glory you will get because of that. I don’t care if it was cancer or criticism. I don’t care if it was slander or sickness. It wasn’t meaningless. It’s doing something! It’s not meaningless. Of course you can’t see what it’s doing. Don’t look to what is seen. When your mom dies, when your kid dies, when you’ve got cancer at 40, when a car careens into the sidewalk and takes her out, don’t say, “That’s meaningless!” It’s not. It’s working for you an eternal weight of glory. Therefore, therefore, do not lose heart. But take these truths and day by day focus on them. Preach them to yourself every morning. Get alone with God and preach his word into your mind until your heart sings with confidence that you are new and cared for."