Changes...

One day, on day like no other, I woke up feeling tired. I had just turned 21 years old.

Little did I know the significance of this day.

This day would mark the beginning of a lifetime of change for me.

I didn’t think much of it. Afterall, I had been up studying late the past three nights. There was an organic chemistry exam coming up, and Dr. Roll was not one to give an easy exam. I think my highest score on his exams up to this point was an 85 percent. And that was a score I was darn proud of!

The next day I woke up a little more tired.

“I must be getting sick,” I thought. “Great. I was so behind in my lab reports.”

I hated organic chemistry lab. I hated the checkered lab book that I always managed to fill up with plenty of white out. I hated the smell of all the chemicals. I hated trying to light those darn Bunsen burners. Okay, truthfully I don’t think I ever even lit a Bunsen burner for fear of burning my hands off in the process. You heard what happened to me during physics lab (see electrocution story above).  I always found a subtle way to ‘pass’ that on to my lab partner who never seemed to notice.

The next day I woke up still feeling tired. I went to all my classes but later on felt like I may be coming down with a fever. So I resolved myself to have come down with the flu, and I went to bed.

I woke up the next day still feeling tired. I noticed that my wrist was in a lot of pain. “That was weird. I must have slept on it funny. “

Two weeks went by, and I wasn’t any better. I was so tired, just walking from class to my dorm wore me out.

“This was getting ridiculous. I was in the best shape of my life. I had run 10 miles not 3 weeks prior! That was it.”  I marched myself to the school gym to do some laps on the track.  “After all, you can sometimes sweat out a fever, right?” At least that’s what my roommates told me.

The next morning I felt much worse. My other wrist was sore now, but I think I kept it straight all night. “Huh that’s strange.”

By this time my roommates were bringing me food from the cafeteria. This is when I realized how many people really did care for me. Girls were leaving notes on my blackboard outside my door. They were bringing me fruit and offering to make me tea. While I was a full eight hours from home and from my mom, I felt so cared for and so loved. I felt like I had 30 future ‘moms of America’ in training all taking care of me.

As much as I adored my friends, I was growing more and more concerned as to why I just wasn’t getting better. My anxiety was heightened as pressure from my classes did not lighten even a little bit. My worst fear was getting behind. This was my junior year. My last year to show medical schools that I can do this. Now was not the time to get behind.

But I had no choice. 

Frustrated, I went to the nurse’s office to request some labs be drawn to try and determine what was happening. She suggested I be checked for mononucleosis (commonly called ‘mono’).  I agreed.

The next three days were a whirlwind. I tested positive for mono. I thought this was strange, as I didn’t know one person with the infection. But apparently it was a pretty big deal. Apparently, it was contagious. And before I knew it, my parents were making the eight hour trip out to Rochester and were busily packing all of my things into the van.

I remember feeling so confused. “How could I be leaving all of my friends in the middle of the semester? How could I miss all my classes? How could I get something as dumb as mono and let it take me out? This was supposed to be the last haul for me. This was supposed to be the end of my pre-med marathon. I was supposed to be prepping for the MCAT. I was supposed to be studying. Maybe I would be better in a couple weeks and come back. Yes, I would come back.” At least that’s what I told myself.

I remember seeing my parents work so hard at packing up the van. They didn’t let me lift a finger. I was sick. I could see that they had just driven eight hours. It was written on their faces, but they never once complained. They just packed up all of my things, and I had a lot of things.

As we pulled out of the parking lot, I remember looking back at my dorm building, seeing students walking from class. For them, it was a typical day. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever be back. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever see my friends again. Something in me, without knowing the days ahead, told me it was time to say good bye.